Thank goodness for the bar scene for giving us hilarious bar jokes. For what would we do without them? Want have a laugh? Check out some of these witty and silly bar jokes!
What will the horse have?
A horse walks into a bar.
The shocked bartender points at it and yells “Hey!”
The horse, surprised, yells back “Yes!”
Where is the cowboy’s horse?
A cowboy walks into a bar and orders some drinks. When done, he walks out only to find that his horse has been stolen.
He walks back into the bar furious, orders one drink and then makes an announcement. “If my horse is not back by the time I’m finished with this drink, I’ll have to do what I did back in Cheyenne. And I don’t want to have a repeat of that here.”
When the cowboy is finished with his drink he walks out and finds his horse where he left it. Intrigued, the bar-goers gather around and ask him, “Mister, tell us, what did you do in Cheyenne when they stole your horse?”
The cowboy replies “I had to walk back home.”
How many beers does the Roman want?
A Roman walks into a bar, sits on a stool and indicates 2 fingers to the bartender.
“Gimme five beers,” he says.
How did he do it?
A scrawny man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Behind him, a competition is going on.
He walks over and asks what the competition is all about. “The big guy squeezes the lemon till it runs out of juice. If you can squeeze a drop of juice after he’s done you get free drinks from all of us.”
“I can do it,” replies the scrawny stranger.
“No you can’t. No one has ever managed to.”
On cue, the big guy at the centre of the table takes out a lemon crashes it inside his huge hand and then hands it over to the stranger.
The scrawny fella picks up the mangled lemon, takes a breath, adjusts his glasses and then proceeds to squeeze the lemon as hard as he can.
After a short while, several drops seep out and splash on the wooden table. The crowd gasps.
“Hey!” One bloke asks, “How did you manage to do that?”
“I’m a taxman” the scrawny fella replies.
Irish anyone?
An Irish man walks out of a bar.
No drinks for midgets?
A midget walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender refuses. The midget asks him why.
“Because you’re a little drunk,” he replies.
